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Post Info TOPIC: Sexual Harassment - He’s My Trainer Next Week!
Anonymous

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Sexual Harassment - He’s My Trainer Next Week!
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Summer is here, and Ive opened my availability.

An associate that Ive filed a sexual harassment report against (and the case went straight to HR) is now training me for three days on how to open a 4am shift. His training week is his last week here... No managers are in the store at 4am. It will just be me, him, and another coworker until 7am when management comes in. I didnt even ask to be trained for the 4am shift... 

When I asked my department manager, he seemed unhappy that I didnt want to do it...

Him: Would it help if I told you that myself and (co-manager) sat (coworker) down and had a talk with him?

Me: No. That does not help.

Him: Would it help if I told you hes quitting soon?

Me: NO. Im still working with him closely on his last week.

Him: Its just for three days.

Me: I dont care! I do not want to work with this guy.

Him: What if we scheduled you with more people?

Me: What if you scheduled me with a different TRAINER?

Him: If I scheduled you at 6 when (another coworker) comes in, would that make it better?

Me: No, (another coworker) is not a manager. I do not want to be alone with him. I do not want to work with him. I want someone with me at all times. I do not want to be trained by him.

Him: What about 7? I come in at 7.

Me: ... I dont know, I dont want to.

Him: I mean, I was just trying to get you more hours in the summer by training you for other things, but I dont know. If you dont like the shift or the job, we can always change it. I just thought youd like hours. Hes quitting soon anyway, and its just for three days.

Me: I dont have a problem with the job. I dont have a problem with the shift. I dont have a problem with the hours. I dont CARE that hes leaving, and I dont CARE that its only for three days. I will NOT be trapped alone with him, I will not be bullied by him, I will not be watched or stared at by him, I will not follow him around and listen to him. I dont want to be trapped alone with him, I dont want to hear him speak disrespectfully to me, I dont want him to say anything else to me. I dont want to work with (Coworker)!

Him: What if we scheduled you with people around thhough? He wouldnt say anything with people around. He doesnt when Im around, so if I scheduled you at 7, you could ask us instead.

Me: Maybe... I dont know, he makes me uncomfortable.

Him: I mean, I can make some adjustments to the schedule. I just thought I was helping you out, with you being a college student and all. I thought itd give you more flexibility in the future since you opened your availability. But that's fine, I can change the schedule since you dont like the shift.

....

How is this at all unclear?

Why did he schedule this guy specifically as my trainer? Why couldnt he or the second do it?

Why did he think this was a good idea?

What do I do? I dont want to be trained by this creep. This guy usually did the 4am shift throughout the week, and now hes quitting right after HR got involved with the case, and my department head KNEW this months in advance and scheduled me with him anyway. I really dont see the logic in it. Can someone explain this?



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Anonymous

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Sounds like your DH does not take your complaint serious. Why can't you come in at 7am with the DH/backup though? Would you still be learning the same thing, how to open the department at 4a? You'd just be going over tasks you probably already know or are very similar to what you already know.

 

Good on you for not budging and working with that guy. If you succumbed, he would take it as a victory and do it to other girls. 



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Anonymous

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Just what exactly did this guy do or say to you?  With all this Me Too crap going around, a guy can't make a simple compliment to a woman without her thinking he's a predator or pervert of some sort.



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Yeah, i have to agree. i'm not saying it didn't happen, far from it, but without any sort of details how can we say who's in the wrong here? If he's a creep he should be under investigation. So has management taken any of what you said seriously?

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Anonymous

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ok this wasnt a simple ur pretty deal. I dont really feel comfortable disclosing details other than he suggested intimacy and my figure, and made several seggestive, personal, and sexist comments to me in the past that were not appropriate.

 



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Anonymous

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And dont say oh, we cant compliment a woman now without it being appropriate.

you dont need to compliment anyone in a sexual manner or comment on someones body EVER, its disgusting.

you at no point would need to suggest a female coworker become intimate with someone else.

 



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Anonymous

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Well it went all the way to HR and two people spoke to him. They considered moving him until he put in his two weeks so they said **** it not worth it.



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Anonymous

Date:
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Anonymous wrote:

ok this wasnt a simple ur pretty deal. I dont really feel comfortable disclosing details other than he suggested intimacy and my figure, and made several seggestive, personal, and sexist comments to me in the past that were not appropriate.

 


 STFU. You're a whiney cry baby who's part of the growing club of I'm Entitled To Everything For Nothing, and right at the heart of what's taking this once great country down.



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Anonymous

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You STFU. 

Youre a nasty, tasteless pervert who has no sense of boundaries or respect for human decency. Youre disgusting and deplorable. This great country, which is now being led by the biggest creeps of the century? Go be an incel somewhere else. I have a right to be respected. You, you have no right to infringe upon the personal space of another human, and you have no further arguments worth responding to.



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Anonymous

Date:
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What were the comments? I cant judge unless I know what they are.

 

Its at the point where I am afraid to tell a female co worker her hair looks nice today for fear of harassment.



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Anonymous

Date:
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You guys are terrible, making me tell you what he said.

youve got an innocent, sensual body

wouldnt you like to get intimate with (another worker)?

what kind of man would you be willing to indulge?

(and sexual jokes about sexual intercourse with older/younger males, masturbation, porn, etc). 



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Anonymous

Date:
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Ok, but that doesnt justify making me say **** about it. I can go into details, but youd need to add me somewhere else. Im not posting everything on an open kroger forum. i can give you a copy of exactly what was said but I dont want my DH seeing this in case he uses this site.



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Anonymous wrote:

You guys are terrible, making me tell you what he said.

youve got an innocent, sensual body

wouldnt you like to get intimate with (another worker)?

what kind of man would you be willing to indulge?

(and sexual jokes about sexual intercourse with older/younger males, masturbation, porn, etc). 


 Ok. That...... is just freaking creepy.

I see your point. I'm just surprised they didn't pull him away from the department, or at the very least, make him work different hours than you. Didn't mean to upset you btw. Just was wondering what you meant by it.



-- Edited by 4hourrush on Thursday 10th of May 2018 09:12:39 PM

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Anonymous

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Its ok, I guess i kinda understand. But its weird tk talk about so next time dont ask a girl that, ok?

They were GONNA move the guy, but he put in his two weeks.

I guess they wanted me to open at 4am which is perfectly fine. But my DH never explained why he didnt just find someone else to train me ...



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I'd talk with HR, and if they refuse to help, your union. I would absolutely never put up with that kind of gross behavior, don't know how some of us guys can be so piggish, especially at work.

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Anonymous

Date:
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Anonymous wrote:

You guys are terrible, making me tell you what he said.

youve got an innocent, sensual body

wouldnt you like to get intimate with (another worker)?

what kind of man would you be willing to indulge?

(and sexual jokes about sexual intercourse with older/younger males, masturbation, porn, etc)

I'm not buying any of this. You got more stories han a library, and you're getting a LOT of drama attention out of it.

I'm done reading it or feeding into it. See you on Jerry



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Did anybody offer to train you at a different store?

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It isn't women who are conflating the two (sexual harassment & compliments). Let this be your guide:  If your "compliments" are being perceived as predation or perversion, then you are the one who can't tell the difference and you need to just stop.  



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What were the comments? I cant judge unless I know what they are.

Its at the point where I am afraid to tell a female co worker her hair looks nice today for fear of harassment.

 


You are not being asked to judge, hypothesize, or speculate on the scenario.  Just take the given situation at face value and hopefully respond with helpful information.



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Anonymous

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No, no one offered me ANY different trainer. Im fine with all aspects of the job, I just dont wannna follow this dude...



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Since your dept. mgr doesn't seem to understand the problem, you need to elevate this to the next level.  Speak with a Co-Mgr or the GM... if necessary contact HR.  Kroger has a due diligence liability issue. If Kroger continues to put you in a compromising situation after receiving a harassment report (and while it is being investigated), then they are liable for what happens.  They don't want that liability.  Talk to HR or you GM immediately. 



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Anonymous

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No one offered me a trainer. They just offered changing the shift to 7am when managements around. Cant you guys just assume for five seconds that Im telling the truth and genuinely need help gettin away from this guy? Its super uncomfortable, especially given that HR was already involved and spoke to him and now my DH expects me to be alone with the guy. As stated in the original post, the dude put in his two weeks, so HR didnt bother moving him like they said they would. My department doesnt have a union.

I didnt even wanna go into details about the scenario, but people asked so I gave them that in the hopes theyd make a suggestion if they believed me...

Or even provide insight as to why my DH did this KNOWING about all lf it...

But what will HR do, if they are to find out about it?

 



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Anonymous

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Thank you, Anastasia!



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Anonymous

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I call bs to. why don't u just tell this guy to bug off. whyd everythng turn to putting cases on people, tht's bull****.



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Recontact Human Resources immediately.  This matter is not up to your department head (or anonymous abusers online).



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You could also tell management that hes not allowed to speak to you without a manager present at all times while he is there because he harasses you. They have to honor that. If they force it through, contact the kroger line or your union rep immediately. **** that guy. Or tell your hr immediately that your dh is trying to get you to work a shift with him. Perhaps think about a department change if your store is hurting in places.

Make it clear that you are willing to work early shifts (if thats something you are concerned about) or train with someone else, but not him. Get this in writing somehow, so maybe text your dh instead of speaking. Or have it witnessed by someone. Or record the conversation. Because if hes trying to screw your money or career at kroger, dont let him. Harasser Dude or DH.

Just trying to help you think through some options. I feel ya OP. Dont **** with that ****.

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kroagrr wrote:

Recontact Human Resources immediately.  This matter is not up to your department head (or anonymous abusers online).


 This



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Anonymous

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If a Chad said the exact same thing, you would be delighted. Imagine is society punished your gender for displaying it's nature? You are worse than Hitler, you won't know it until you're crying by yourself in a stinky room full of cats.

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Sounds like BS to me, if you have filed a complain you shouldn't have to work with the associates unless the situation has been resolved. Resolved meaning the person filing the complaint no longer feels they are being harassed...etc.

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Anonymous

Date:
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Anonymous wrote:

Summer is here, and Ive opened my availability.

An associate that Ive filed a sexual harassment report against (and the case went straight to HR) is now training me for three days on how to open a 4am shift. His training week is his last week here... No managers are in the store at 4am. It will just be me, him, and another coworker until 7am when management comes in. I didnt even ask to be trained for the 4am shift... 

When I asked my department manager, he seemed unhappy that I didnt want to do it...

Him: Would it help if I told you that myself and (co-manager) sat (coworker) down and had a talk with him?

Me: No. That does not help.

Him: Would it help if I told you hes quitting soon?

Me: NO. Im still working with him closely on his last week.

Him: Its just for three days.

Me: I dont care! I do not want to work with this guy.

Him: What if we scheduled you with more people?

Me: What if you scheduled me with a different TRAINER?

Him: If I scheduled you at 6 when (another coworker) comes in, would that make it better?

Me: No, (another coworker) is not a manager. I do not want to be alone with him. I do not want to work with him. I want someone with me at all times. I do not want to be trained by him.

Him: What about 7? I come in at 7.

Me: ... I dont know, I dont want to.

Him: I mean, I was just trying to get you more hours in the summer by training you for other things, but I dont know. If you dont like the shift or the job, we can always change it. I just thought youd like hours. Hes quitting soon anyway, and its just for three days.

Me: I dont have a problem with the job. I dont have a problem with the shift. I dont have a problem with the hours. I dont CARE that hes leaving, and I dont CARE that its only for three days. I will NOT be trapped alone with him, I will not be bullied by him, I will not be watched or stared at by him, I will not follow him around and listen to him. I dont want to be trapped alone with him, I dont want to hear him speak disrespectfully to me, I dont want him to say anything else to me. I dont want to work with (Coworker)!

Him: What if we scheduled you with people around thhough? He wouldnt say anything with people around. He doesnt when Im around, so if I scheduled you at 7, you could ask us instead.

Me: Maybe... I dont know, he makes me uncomfortable.

Him: I mean, I can make some adjustments to the schedule. I just thought I was helping you out, with you being a college student and all. I thought itd give you more flexibility in the future since you opened your availability. But that's fine, I can change the schedule since you dont like the shift.

....

How is this at all unclear?

Why did he schedule this guy specifically as my trainer? Why couldnt he or the second do it?

Why did he think this was a good idea?

What do I do? I dont want to be trained by this creep. This guy usually did the 4am shift throughout the week, and now hes quitting right after HR got involved with the case, and my department head KNEW this months in advance and scheduled me with him anyway. I really dont see the logic in it. Can someone explain this?


 Been reading your crap on many, many posts here.  There are better places to complain about this issue than a public employee forum.  Personally, I think you are a drama queen looking for attention.



__________________
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink   

Summer is here, and Ive opened my availability.

An associate that Ive filed a sexual harassment report against (and the case went straight to HR) is now training me for three days on how to open a 4am shift. His training week is his last week here... No managers are in the store at 4am. It will just be me, him, and another coworker until 7am when management comes in. I didnt even ask to be trained for the 4am shift... 

When I asked my department manager, he seemed unhappy that I didnt want to do it...

Him: Would it help if I told you that myself and (co-manager) sat (coworker) down and had a talk with him?

Me: No. That does not help.

Him: Would it help if I told you hes quitting soon?

Me: NO. Im still working with him closely on his last week.

Him: Its just for three days.

Me: I dont care! I do not want to work with this guy.

Him: What if we scheduled you with more people?

Me: What if you scheduled me with a different TRAINER?

Him: If I scheduled you at 6 when (another coworker) comes in, would that make it better?

Me: No, (another coworker) is not a manager. I do not want to be alone with him. I do not want to work with him. I want someone with me at all times. I do not want to be trained by him.

Him: What about 7? I come in at 7.

Me: ... I dont know, I dont want to.

Him: I mean, I was just trying to get you more hours in the summer by training you for other things, but I dont know. If you dont like the shift or the job, we can always change it. I just thought youd like hours. Hes quitting soon anyway, and its just for three days.

Me: I dont have a problem with the job. I dont have a problem with the shift. I dont have a problem with the hours. I dont CARE that hes leaving, and I dont CARE that its only for three days. I will NOT be trapped alone with him, I will not be bullied by him, I will not be watched or stared at by him, I will not follow him around and listen to him. I dont want to be trapped alone with him, I dont want to hear him speak disrespectfully to me, I dont want him to say anything else to me. I dont want to work with (Coworker)!

Him: What if we scheduled you with people around thhough? He wouldnt say anything with people around. He doesnt when Im around, so if I scheduled you at 7, you could ask us instead.

Me: Maybe... I dont know, he makes me uncomfortable.

Him: I mean, I can make some adjustments to the schedule. I just thought I was helping you out, with you being a college student and all. I thought itd give you more flexibility in the future since you opened your availability. But that's fine, I can change the schedule since you dont like the shift.

....

How is this at all unclear?

Why did he schedule this guy specifically as my trainer? Why couldnt he or the second do it?

Why did he think this was a good idea?

What do I do? I dont want to be trained by this creep. This guy usually did the 4am shift throughout the week, and now hes quitting right after HR got involved with the case, and my department head KNEW this months in advance and scheduled me with him anyway. I really dont see the logic in it. Can someone explain this?


 Been reading your crap on many, many posts here.  There are better places to complain about this issue than a public employee forum.  Personally, I think you are a drama queen looking for attention.

 

Ive only made one post in regards to this issue.



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Member

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Date:
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Anonymous wrote:

If a Chad said the exact same thing, you would be delighted. Imagine is society punished your gender for displaying it's nature? You are worse than Hitler, you won't know it until you're crying by yourself in a stinky room full of cats.


 So, youre saying that the male genders nature is to bully and harass other people? Why do you hate men?



__________________

Nah, dude. I got this.

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