How do you tell an autistic individual about the three foot bubble rule for personal space? I keep having an autistic employee flirt with me and I'm starting to get offended. I've beat politely around the bush but each time he comes and talks to me his face is literally one foot from mine. If I tell him directly to stop he'll cry as he's done before with other people. He never learned to speak in different volume levels. He'll walk up to me be one foot from my face and start speaking in a raised'ish tone (normal tone for him) and I'm about ready to put my finger on his forehead and push him back three feet. How do I politely do this?
I tell hr every time he flirts with me and "hits" on me. I might take it to the union. Done with it. It's been going on eight+ months.
Tell him, that you love talking to people, but you are a bit claustrophobic and need to have a 3 ft distance from everybody. Then make 2 steps back and say "just like this". End with complimenting something about this person. That's a "nice comment - not so nice real issue - nice comment" sandwich. People usually take that well.
I'm autistic myself, although I'm on the mild end of the spectrum.
Autistic people, generally speaking, prefer to be told things directly. Subtle hinting and body language work about as well as telling him to stop in French would. Don't be mean about it, but do be blunt and honest-- tell him directly that you're uncomfortable when he gets that close to you (phrasing it as "people" instead of "you" to emphasize that it's not just him might go over better) and that you would appreciate it if he kept some physical distance and stopped flirting with you. He might not know you're uncomfortable.
Now, if he keeps doing it after you directly request that he not, or uses his crying as a tool of manipulation, THEN you take it to the union. If nothing else you could likely get yourself moved to a department away from him, if you're not terribly attached to your current department.
Anonymous wrote:
How do you tell an autistic individual about the three foot bubble rule for personal space? I keep having an autistic employee flirt with me and I'm starting to get offended. I've beat politely around the bush but each time he comes and talks to me his face is literally one foot from mine. If I tell him directly to stop he'll cry as he's done before with other people. He never learned to speak in different volume levels. He'll walk up to me be one foot from my face and start speaking in a raised'ish tone (normal tone for him) and I'm about ready to put my finger on his forehead and push him back three feet. How do I politely do this?
I tell hr every time he flirts with me and "hits" on me. I might take it to the union. Done with it. It's been going on eight+ months.
How do you tell an autistic individual about the three foot bubble rule for personal space? I keep having an autistic employee flirt with me and I'm starting to get offended. I've beat politely around the bush but each time he comes and talks to me his face is literally one foot from mine. If I tell him directly to stop he'll cry as he's done before with other people. He never learned to speak in different volume levels. He'll walk up to me be one foot from my face and start speaking in a raised'ish tone (normal tone for him) and I'm about ready to put my finger on his forehead and push him back three feet. How do I politely do this?
I tell hr every time he flirts with me and "hits" on me. I might take it to the union. Done with it. It's been going on eight+ months.
Try holding on to a fart a let it out when he invades your space. or tell him your gay/lesbian. It can't be all that bad and you must like it if its been going on for 8 months now.
