* Sir, today I brought my 9 mm. pistol to cart pushing duty. As you intentionally try to run me over in this parking lot, that's obviously an attempt on my life. Head shots straight through your windshield, f u c k e r.
* No, I am not going on a shopping trip through the store with you. You brought yourself here, fill your own damn cart.
* I don't care big and mean and sh!t fit throwing you are----you're not extreme couponing in my lane.
* Get your 20 year old, obviously in shape/non crippled ass out of that motor cart, you lazy f u c k!!!!
* If you don't GET THE FKING HELL out of my way with this heavy ass pallet, I'm running you down like road kill.
"OMG dont bring your 100 coupons into my lane"
"Do I LOOK like I can bag your big cases of soda?"
"I cant put stuff back, take it back yourself"
"OMG my register is not a bank. Please stop trying to pay for a $10 order with your hundred dollar bill at 9 am"
"Let me do my job please, stop hovering around me and let me work"
"Stop trying to help me, I can do it myself"
"Dont leave your cart in my lane, put it back"
You are perfectly capable of picking up your own damn soda off the bottom of your cart for me to scan. (Unless the customer is elderly or actually disabled then I don't mind)
Please feel free to bag your own groceries if you insist on telling me exactly what you want in each bag
For the love of God stop tying your produce bags shut. Most of the time I can't get it to scan through the bag
If you would hand me your shoppers card first liked I asked you wouldn't now be telling me items are not ringing up the sale price
You stink. Go home, wash your ass with antibacterial soap, and then come back to the store.
Stop calling the store and asking me to go look at the prices of items for you.
Stop waiting until right before we close the store on the last day of the month and demand to know why we don't have all the items you need for WIC in stock.
If you would treat me like a fellow human instead of garbage I might actually be more helpful.
"why even pick these things up if you cant pay for them and are just gonna leave them in my lane"
"do you even look at the price on the shelf when you pick these things up? Pay some more attention while shopping"
"Pay attention when you pick up produce. I am not gonna charge you regular price for organic produce. If the sticker says its Organic, it is going to ring up as Organic"
"No you cant borrow my Kroger card, I dont give out my discount to random people"
"You got that item in your cart fine, but you cant get it out so I can scan it?"
"Dont put stuff you dont want with the candy on my lane. If you really dont want it, hand it to me so I can make sure it's put back"
"No I cant actually do everything from my register"
Since I live in an upscale "Stepford Wives" town and served as a barista for a brief time before asking for a transfer:
"My eyes are up here, put that smartphone down you inconsiderate oaf."
"You mean the old burned expresso mixed with sugar and corn syrup with some milk on the side that you just shilled out six dollars for?"
"And you want EXTRA CARAMEL despite asking for a skinny macchiato you three hundred pound white collar pig that wears perfume to cover your obvious B.O.?"
"Stop signs exist you know (to bored housewives with their Hubbies' foreign car)."
"(Ditto) You do know that parking in the Fire Lane is illegal, you ditz?"
"A sample to stuff your fat face? Look, you know what you're buying, quit asking to taste the meat every time you stop over. This is not a wine tasting, we have a long line behind you..."
